In order to be vulnerable, you must be okay with all of you. I think that's the thing about it that no one tells you about. It's not about how much you trust the other person, it's how well you know yourself. Vulnerability has always been something I struggled with expressing. I used to keep everything to myself because I didn't want people to see me weak. I only wanted people to see the good. I built brick walls around me and it ruined a lot of friendships and relationships.
Maybe people are not ready to talk about certain things because they are afraid of being vulnerable and people knowing about their weaknesses. Everyone wants to put on a strong face and let others only see their strengths. Never their weaknesses. And I find that interesting because everyone is fighting their own battle, so why are we so quick to hide that? But in this world we live in, the one in which we pretend everything is always ok, we broadcast idealized images of ourselves, but compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's edited reals. We are taught in a way that it is not okay to admit to our failures or our true passions. Instead, we act invincible, as if nothing can ever hurt us. And I think that dehumanizes us and definitely makes us feel less connected with each other.
Being honest about everything you feel is difficult. However, I do believe that it's more painful to hide your pain within by watching the person you love, or the place you want to go, be far off in the distance while you are trapped on the other side by your fear of the possibility of being hurt by heartbreak or rejection from overly ambitious dreams or expectations. The world is scared of being honest. But go ahead, scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth. Watch how your life will change.
One day, it hit me. Life will take whatever it can from you if you let it. It will steal your dreams, it will crush your ideas of romance and it will take over your priorities. But if you put on a strong face and separate yourself from feeling any emotions, you will miss out on the very thing that makes us these imperfect humans; vulnerability.
Vulnerability means to say and do exactly what you feel, even if it may potentially leave you with nothing. That takes guts. It's about living your life with honesty. Expressing when you're afraid, or when you need help from others. Your feelings aren't meant to scare you. They are meant to tell your story and guide your life. Some of us don't pursue our dreams for the fear of not only failing and being rejected but also for the fear of looking like a fool. Some of our dreams are so far out and beautiful to us but others tell you that you're being unrealistic. That hurts and can be detrimental to you and your dream. Don't let the fear of not being accepted discourage you from not only having that dream, but being vulnerable and brave enough to share it. Don't miss out on challenging yourself by putting more energy into fitting in with some social stigma or group. Vulnerability is not about being prideful about a social status, it's about you.
Only after you have given someone every ounce of you or have tried taking every possible road to accomplish something only to be ridiculed, and you have found yourself lying on the floor with tears because you were rejected and someone poured salt on the wounds you opened for them, is when you will understand. You will learn that it's not about being accepted by others or about being nonchalant when presented in a situation when you want to breakdown but are putting on a strong face. It's not about Facebook 'likes' and making everything seem like it's okay. It's about telling the truth and being okay with that. It's because you want to do it. It's about being open, vulnerable and being okay with sharing all of you. It's about being human, and connecting with other humans.
Photograph by Andria Lindquist
Maybe people are not ready to talk about certain things because they are afraid of being vulnerable and people knowing about their weaknesses. Everyone wants to put on a strong face and let others only see their strengths. Never their weaknesses. And I find that interesting because everyone is fighting their own battle, so why are we so quick to hide that? But in this world we live in, the one in which we pretend everything is always ok, we broadcast idealized images of ourselves, but compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's edited reals. We are taught in a way that it is not okay to admit to our failures or our true passions. Instead, we act invincible, as if nothing can ever hurt us. And I think that dehumanizes us and definitely makes us feel less connected with each other.
Being honest about everything you feel is difficult. However, I do believe that it's more painful to hide your pain within by watching the person you love, or the place you want to go, be far off in the distance while you are trapped on the other side by your fear of the possibility of being hurt by heartbreak or rejection from overly ambitious dreams or expectations. The world is scared of being honest. But go ahead, scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth. Watch how your life will change.
One day, it hit me. Life will take whatever it can from you if you let it. It will steal your dreams, it will crush your ideas of romance and it will take over your priorities. But if you put on a strong face and separate yourself from feeling any emotions, you will miss out on the very thing that makes us these imperfect humans; vulnerability.
Vulnerability means to say and do exactly what you feel, even if it may potentially leave you with nothing. That takes guts. It's about living your life with honesty. Expressing when you're afraid, or when you need help from others. Your feelings aren't meant to scare you. They are meant to tell your story and guide your life. Some of us don't pursue our dreams for the fear of not only failing and being rejected but also for the fear of looking like a fool. Some of our dreams are so far out and beautiful to us but others tell you that you're being unrealistic. That hurts and can be detrimental to you and your dream. Don't let the fear of not being accepted discourage you from not only having that dream, but being vulnerable and brave enough to share it. Don't miss out on challenging yourself by putting more energy into fitting in with some social stigma or group. Vulnerability is not about being prideful about a social status, it's about you.
Only after you have given someone every ounce of you or have tried taking every possible road to accomplish something only to be ridiculed, and you have found yourself lying on the floor with tears because you were rejected and someone poured salt on the wounds you opened for them, is when you will understand. You will learn that it's not about being accepted by others or about being nonchalant when presented in a situation when you want to breakdown but are putting on a strong face. It's not about Facebook 'likes' and making everything seem like it's okay. It's about telling the truth and being okay with that. It's because you want to do it. It's about being open, vulnerable and being okay with sharing all of you. It's about being human, and connecting with other humans.
Photograph by Andria Lindquist
