With social media crowding our field of vision, it’s easy to miss what is right in front of us at times: real human beings. We care so much about feeling connected to the world by constantly updating our status and commenting on others’ photos, yet we can often miss out on connecting to the actual person standing next to us. Checking our news feed is a normal part of our daily activity nowadays, but this action especially heightens when we don’t have a companion by our side in public places. When we’re alone, it’s easy to disengage from the physical world around us.

With this in mind, the next time you’re waiting anywhere — whether in line at the grocery store or riding on a public transport commuter train — have the patience to refrain from looking down at your phone. Rather than browsing through someone’s online photo stream, strike up a conversation with the person next to you and try to make a real connection with someone, however brief it may be. You never know what may come of it.

Here are a few suggestions to help get you started.

Look Up
When you are looking down at your phone, you miss out on the world that’s right in front of you. Realize that your presence makes a difference; the attitude, perspective, and energy that you possess once you step into a room matters. When you immediately look down at your device, you tell everyone else around you that you’re not interested in conversing. You shut others out and remain in your own bubble. People will notice; all efforts someone might have had to chat with you might disappear and a connection may be lost. Look up from your phone, learn to coexist and be connected to the ones around you.

                        "the attitude, perspective, and energy that you possess once you step into a room matters."

Don’t Stay Lonely
When you’re in public by yourself, don’t resort to hiding behind your phone in fear of seeming alone. Don’t feel intimidated or be afraid of rejection; the reason for wanting to talk to the person beside you isn’t a form of weakness. It’s not because people need to feel welcomed or appreciated in the space they are in, but because we are thinking well beyond ourselves that we wish to focus our attention on another. Remove the fear of rejection that may come from engaging with someone new and be the first to initiate a conversation.

Start A Conversation
Skip the awkward and on-the surface topics of discussion once you do engage. Rather than talking about the weather or how bad the line that you’re waiting in is, compliment this person on something they are wearing, it may spark a story. Another good topic of discussion: whether you’re new in town or not. Asking someone where their favorite restaurant is could introduce you to new places or bond you both in your similarities. The art of good conversation deepens when information is being shared.

Keep The Relationship
If you run a business that will help the person you just spoke with, extending your contact information helps to build awareness of your brand and bring in a new, yet familiar, face. If you run a blog or a service, you might have just made a new lovely reader, contributor or client. If you are an expert in styling, traveling or just simply interested in a topic of the like that helped bond you with your new friend, exchanging cards helps continue the conversation even after you’re no longer waiting in line.

Being present in the world is easiest when you’re not buried in your phone. The next time you’re waiting in line for the latest iPhone upgrade, grabbing a cup of coffee, or waiting to get on a ride at Six Flags, be daring -- talk to the person behind you. 

Photograph from Tumblr
This post was also published on Darling Magazine

We've learned table manners from our grandparents, we've seen the formality of dinner parties from old films, but when we do dinner parties now ourselves, we don't really do them. Today, we feel silly with the formality that used to be put on. Entertaining in general is so much more casual than what it used to be. Let's focus on bringing back graciousness at dinner parties, even casual get-togethers, and making them about the company we are choosing to keep and respecting the art of entertaining with grace.

When You're The Host
The host sets the tone. Dinner is, firstly, planned in your home: when you choose to be the entertainer, there is a responsibility that is entrusted on you to put together the entire affair. Your métier is to make everyone in your home feel comfortable and relaxed. This may be stressful, and it's alright to ask for help, but remember to stay poised. If you're running around in a state of panic, cursing if something falls on the floor, or seeming as if this event has caused nothing but stress to your day, your guests will feel like they are an inconvenience. Rather, focus on putting out relaxed energy that reveals how happy you are to have some of the greatest people you know gathered together under your roof. Think of this, if Emily Post wanted to entertain as a host, her guests will feel very well taken care of. 

I love it when someone hosts a dinner and really hosts it. I’d hate to see our generation lose what it means to host. It's alright to have a few potluck dinners, but don't be dead set on them for all your gatherings. It's not about how fancy your dinner is, it's about the feeling you get when you've gathered around good company.

Invitations
Physical letters in the mail may not literally be needed. We are trying to bring back the grace of entertaining, not forgetting that technology exists. However, with that said, possibly a phone call or a nicely designed email is much more gracious and thoughtful than a social media message.

Guests Arrival
Within the first few minutes, coats are off, proper introductions are been made, and everyone has a drink in their hand (whether that's champagne, coffee, or water.) It may also be a good idea to give most of your attention to the people you know the least. With your help, your guests will have a smooth transition from arriving to getting warmed up to the environment. 

Be Ready
When people first arrive, it's alright if you don't have everything finished. Often times, it will create a more friendly environment if you'll still be cooking the main course, or plating the salad. There are some things though, that should always be ready ahead of time: music playing, drinks are ready to be served and appetizers are available. 

Don't Be Late
The timing of a dinner party has a lot to do with what you're serving, but generally try to adhere to the idea of serving dinner within 45 minutes from the time people arrive to the point when everyone sits down for dinner. This gives guests time to nibble on appetizers, have a drink, and get comfortable with other people at the party.

Enjoy
Now that your preparations are done, dinner is complete, and your guests are comfortably gathered around the table, it's time to enjoy. Make an effort to have all phones put away during this time and really focus on each other. 

Keep the Principle
It's important to continue the essence of traditions. I’m really nostalgic and can hold on way too closely to the specifics of how something is done. It’s important to be able to let go of the specifics, but hold on to the intention. 

Photograph by Jonathan Wherrett

A girl and her bed on Sunday mornings are an endless love affair. Add a cat and your loved one into the mix and you have yourself an incredible day, and you didn't even have to change out of your pj's. From having breakfast in bed, to hosting a cozy movie for two, there are many ways to turn your bed into a place for gathering, entertaining, and dining. Here are just a small select of things one can do whilst staying in bed. Because a Sunday well spent brings a week of content. 

Breakfast in Bed
The sun streams through the window, awakening us with its warm light. Slowly opening my eyes, quickly closing them shut again, sinking deeper into the duvet, and turning over towards my sleeping partner before rousing myself out of bed. Hair tousled and pajamas disheveled, I tiptoe into the kitchen and begin the Gracious Sunday ritual of grinding coffee beans, toasting bread, and baking eggs in avocado. Arms laden with a tray full of breakfast and a mug full of hot coffee, I climb back into bed, and eagerly take a taste of what has to be the best way to spend a Sunday morning. A Kinfolk magazine in hand, cat by the foot of my bed, maybe a handsome fellow by my side, and the morning hours stretch leisurely ahead. 

An Indoor Picnic
Sure normal outdoor picnics are delightful; sitting out in the grass, soaking up the sun, and feeling the cool breeze against your skin. But sometimes there are unexpected rain showers, or maybe you simply don't want to go outside and would much rather have a private indoor picnic. Placing a picnic blanket over the duvet, napkins, and a handful of wildflowers turn our bed into the most comfortable setting no grass could provide. We lean back on plush pillows while nibbling on the accoutrements that is wrapped lovingly in our basket: summer corn, zucchini, green chiles, and lime salad, and an incredibly delicious beet, arugula and goat cheese grilled panini. We pour some wine, add fresh bread and cheese to snack on and it's just about the best picnic and moment to share with someone special. 

Movie for Two
While a movie choice is debated, an appropriate menu is prepared—savory lightly salted, buttered popcorn, broccoli cheddar quinoa bites, salted-caramel sundaes, and salted-caramel apple hand pies—decadent options but fitting for such an affair. We each sip a Negroni while preparing all the finishing touches for our gracious night in. A touch tipsy, we dim the lights, slide under the covers and cue the film. Movie night has commenced.

I hope you enjoy your Sunday, or any day of the week for that matter. If it's spent in bed doing nothing but peaceful and delightful things with someone you care about, it's bound to be time very well spent. 

Photograph from Tumblr

Fermentation has healing properties that has been recognized in many cultures for centuries, helping the body grow and prosper. It not only preserves your food but it also enhances the nutrient content. When locally grown organic produce and indigenous yeasts and bacteria are created, preservationists and healthy food lovers are able to create extraordinarily delicious, healthful, and traditional foods and drinks. I invite you to seek to create the highest quality and tastiest ferments possible, including sauerkraut with coriander and seeds, kimchi, seasonal shredded beet or carrot salad, wild fermented sodas and rejuvelac, an unsweetened probiotic drink made from sprouted grains. 

Fermentation is entirely dependent on the bacteria that grows on the vegetables, which is vital not only for the functioning of the human body, but for every ecosystem and living thing on the planet. Interested yet? The goal is to mix salt and vegetables and submerge them in brine. Here are a few variables to keep in mind when you have decided to ferment from home:

Basics: How to Make Your Ferment
Wash and process the vegetables, rinsing the skins of the vegetables very thoroughly, then chop them into strips or chunks. Then place them in a bowl and use a meat tenderizer or kraut pounder to release the juices. If you wish to leave the vegetables mostly intact, you may not squeeze all of the juice out but you will still need to press them in some way in order to break down the cell walls. 

No Air Exposure
When you ferment vegetables, it’s ideal to completely submerge them in brine to protect them from molding. If your ferments contain a lot of floating matter, be sure to stir regularly to discourage mold growth. 

Keep Temperatures Stable
When temperatures rise, the biological process speeds up. For the first few days of your fermentation process, it’s ideal to keep your subject in room temperature areas. Then at cellar temperature for the remainder of the time. Refrigeration slows all processes down significantly. We recommend that temperatures remain stable.

Take Your Time
Nutrition, flavor and texture will all change and often will improve with time. At room temperature, most ferments will need about one week to develop the acidity required for preservation. So be patient, it’s well worth the wait. 

Stay Salty
We recommend that you always use high-quality salts for fermenting. What is considered ‘high-quality’ salts? Choose salts that have not been leached of their vital minerals or compromised with chemical conditioners or flowing agents. The amount of salt you use will greatly affect the outcome of your ferments. Higher salt proportions will keep vegetables crunchier, while lower salt proportions will leave you with softer ferments. Too much salt will inhibit fermentation. Salting is not an exact science; just make it a little bit saltier than you would want to eat raw.

Just Add Water
All water used must be non-chlorinated—whether it’s being used to wash vegetables or make the brine. Chlorine kills bacteria and will prevent your project from fermenting. 

Photograph by Trinette Reed & Chris Gramly

There’s an art to being a good house guest and it takes some diligent practice to get it just right in order to extend your graciousness to those who have extended theirs to provide you a place to stay. Next time you’re taking advantage of the kindness of others—whether it’s in the form of a couch or their backyard cottage—take heed of these suggestions for dwelling well. 
 
Remember You're a Guest
You are not in the comfort of your own home, though your gracious host may tell you to make yourself feel at home, don't get too comfortable. Keep your belongings all in one place and be tidy.

Be an Empathetic Lodger
Put yourself in the house slippers of your host (not literally) and visualize what might make you the most agreeable, generous guest. Close doors quietly when others are sleeping. Tread lightly in the morning. Simply put, take into consideration of the family living there and be as kind as one can be. 

Pitch in for Meals
Take a trip to the grocery store and stock up on eggs, milk, and coffee. Or help around the kitchen to make meal time a bit easier now that your host must be mindful for an extra guest. Chop onions for dinner or wash the dishes after breakfast. Your participation in household affairs should be proportionate to the length of your stay. Do whatever you can to lighten the burden of another body (or several) in the house.

Be Reasonable About Expectations
Take the more humble approach and recognize that your host has a whole litany of responsibilities, worries and distractions that extend beyond merely satisfying your comforts. So commit to being flexible before you even step foot in the door. Also, be forgiving and responsive. 

Communicate Well
This is the key for getting off to a good start, as well as maintaining peace for the whole duration of your stay. Let your hosts know when they might expect you in and out of the house. If you say you’re coming home at 10 p.m., don’t waltz in the door at 2 a.m. with no warning and expecting a warm greeting. 

Photograph by Taylor Jewell

Gathering at the table might be the most social of those pursuits. However, I relish some time in solitude; that hushed, engrossed period when I am alone with my materials.

There are many creative pursuits that demand a period of solitude for the germination of projects—writing, music-making, painting, designing. The same can be said of cooking. You see the raw ingredients that will become a meal. Without distractions, we pay closer attention to the behavior of our materials and gain a nuanced understanding of their qualities and how they come together to create a dish.

The long, dark hours of winter evenings and the tough, unyielding root vegetables of the season lend themselves to a kind of engaged and reflective cooking that no other season provides. It can’t be a coincidence that in summer we seem to abandon the stove, opting for simple, refreshing foods that require as little time as possible to prepare, while in winter it is soups, stews, roasts and braises that enamor us—activities that beg a little patience. Cooking brings a welcome warmth into the home. 

There are many good things to pay homage to when you're cooking for a table for one. Think of the people who don't have the simple luxury. My mom is a mother of three very picky children; five if you count my father and uncle. Trying to feed that many mouths every night for dinner is exhausting. Cooking, for her, has no longer become a time spent to cook with love and enjoyable efforts in result of constant pressure to simply put anything on the table after she gets home from work.  

Though I help her from time to time, we still rush to cook something simple because it won't take very much time. In result, she has taught my family not to crave intricate meals; simple and boring are what we eat for dinner. It's what my younger brothers are accustomed to. 

When I moved out, I had these lovely moments to myself, lost in the rhythms of chopping, prepping and combining, are often what I crave most from cooking, whether it’s for 30 minutes, three hours or all of a Sunday. Later the apartment may be filled with friends. When I started to cook for friends was when I started to care so much about what I was putting on the table and who I was filling the room with. It was from cooking alone when I appreciated cooking for others. It was a simple reminder of why most of us cook for—traditions, friends, memories, family, community. There’s little that I love more than that ritual—spending time with the people I care about, eating together. But I find delight in the time prior to the meal equally, that quite period when I am just alone with my materials. 

Photograph from Now You're Cooking Blog

I know there are plenty of city girls out there who love the wilderness, but when it comes to 'roughing it,' you may feel a bit intimidated by not knowing what to bring, or what to wear. Well gracious readers, there’s no better time than now to learn how to survive in the outdoors and still look cute and be smart while doing it.

Know Your Location
Before even beginning packing, my favorite thing to do is research. What kind of weather should you expect? Research the area to know if the location is prone to snow, rain, or extreme heat. Weather can be unpredictable (even in the summer) so depending on altitude and season, layering is vital to being outdoors. At any moment, the temperature can go from chilly, to warm, to hot, to cold to freezing, but be prepared and all will go well.

Relax
It's all about comfort and layering. Firstly, you might be driving for a while to get there, and moving around a lot when you arrive, so be as comfortable as possible. Choose lightweight tops and stretchy bottoms. Relaxed silhouettes are going to be your best friend in this setting. 

Be Adventure-Ready
You will be encircled by dust, dirt, or mud, so focus on choosing adventure-ready clothes. You never know what you’ll find when you're surrounded by nature. You will get dirty. Don't bring your favorite J. Crew Collection Cashmere Waffle Leggings. Leave those beauties at home. Rather, bring still comfortable and cute leggings, but ones you won't mind to rock climb in and get a bit dirty. 

Get Strappin’
If you're going to be doing a bit of hiking, like we are, the most important thing to bring are boots. Something that's sturdy enough to climb rocks with, comfortable to walk in all day, and perfectly safe for getting dirty and dusty. Also, good socks make a big difference, so pack a couple pairs that are thick and, if possible, made from wool. My brothers have thermal socks, so I will be borrowing those. 

Mix And Match
Since you'd need to pack as light as possible, only fitting everything in a small duffle bag may be a challenge, especially for a girl. Find items that can be mixed and matched; packing will be simpler and lighter. Try to keep your pack down to 1-2 items per category; meaning one legging, one short sleeve, one long sleeve, one pant, etc., especially if you’re only there for a weekend. It can also make it easier to pair things together if you follow a common and neutral color palette.

Be Low Maintenance
Unless you’re 'glamping,' and you’re welcomed to real showers, you won’t be able to freshen up the way you’re normally used to. Keep your hair tamed by wearing bandanas or cute hats. Put it up in a high bun or a simple-to-care-for braid. If you can't go more than two days without washing your hair, try out a dry shampoo to alleviate the build-up-feel. Bring deodorant, hand sanitizer, nice smelling lotions, and light perfume to stay smelling fresh during the trip. 

As for make-up, be ready to go au naturel or keep it light with some mascara and tinted chap-stick. For those who are acne prone (like me) this might be a challenge and a really uncomfortable, self-conscious weekend. Bring a face towel and extra water bottles for your acne wash to clean your face with in the morning and night. Wear lots of sunscreen to prevent marks appearing on your skin, bring a primer with green undertones to reduce redness, and light concealer to cover up the problem areas. Still simple, but well protected. You won't be as self-conscious or be deemed as a beauty diva either on your nature-driven trip. 

Nail It
If you’re anything like me, you don’t like seeing dirt in your nails. Unfortunately when you’re outside setting up your tent, making food or building a fire, your nails will tend to collect a little grime from being active in the great outdoors. What I like to do is right before the trip I paint my nails a dark color so that you won't be able to see what's going on under my nails. This always helps me feel ladylike, even considering the circumstances.

Snap It
You're going to see some beautiful scenery with awesome people you love; you'll want to capture every moment of it without relying too much on your cell phone. I bring my camera with me wherever I go no matter what anyway, so bringing it to a camping trip is like a no-brainer. Just be very careful while you're there. Keep your eye on it so it won't get lost, and be careful it doesn't drop anywhere. 

Hopefully the next time someone invites you on a trip to the wild for the weekend, you can say yes with absolute certainty and be prepared for an awesome time. Explore the world where animals run freely, the air is clean and the view around you is incredibly photogenic. The best and absolute most important part about going camping is the people you go with. Make some good memories, have great conversations and make this an experience that will be worth story-telling. Be safe and have fun. 

Photograph from Tumblr

It's a dance. Taking and giving with your partner. With interest and delight; not in yourself, and not simply in the other person. Taking and giving with interest and delight in things, in thoughts, and in ideas. Passion and love are extremely powerful and infectious and knowledge and pure curiosity are the key ingredients to a good conversation. Think back on any great conversation you feel you have had with someone, and you might realize that the best conversations were the ones where information was being shared. Whether the one you love was opening up to you about their deepest thoughts, your best friend was sharing with you their perception of the world, or you both had an idea and were constantly reflected off of each others views inspiring more thoughts. I want to know what interests you, what you think about something, what makes you come alive. These are the people I want to talk to. I want to be around people that do things and actively make an effort to live out their dreams. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what other people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.

          Small minds discuss people; average minds discuss events; great minds discuss ideas. --Eleanor Roosevelt 

Now, we must delineate: what is the difference between the person who talks my ear off without even registering my complete disinterest, and the person who wonderfully catches my interest and engages me in such a way that the rest of the world seems to slow down? I would probably argue that the people who are dawned as 'annoying' are simply not self-aware. And because of it, they live their life in a confused stupor as to why everyone tries to escape their presence. Slow down, work on being more self-aware and pay attention to the person you are engaging with. You can normally tell how truly interested someone is in the conversation just by their body language and their verbal responses. 

Remember, it's a dance. Your interest and willingness to express your ideas will often free the other person to express theirs. That is where the conversation takes off. Ask good questions about taste, current events and why someone feels a certain way about that specific idea. Be open minded and think about how you can add value to the conversation. There are people who always throw up facts just to show they are knowledgeable about a certain topic, but they aren't really adding value. They aren't willing to learn or ask any questions, leaving the conversation dry and not really thought-provoking. 

It’s honestly all about the tension between abandoning insecurity and being self-aware. The tension between listening and speaking, between interest and being interesting. Becoming comfortable in that balance is the key to good conversation. Care about things, have inspired thoughts and be willing to share them with the world. 

Photograph by Paige Jones

We all have come across that moment when we want to do everything right in order to impress that special someone. If you are taking someone out on a first date soon and are a bit nervous to make a lasting impression, here are some important tips to take note of. 

For men, it takes an attuned sense to make sure you're pulling off all of the small (but oh-so-important) details for your special lady. 

Look Her in the Eye
Seems simple, but it's an important reminder. Nothing says, "I'm lost in everything that's you," better than keeping eye contact. It reminds her that she's got your undivided attention and you are truly just infatuated by her. 

Old Fashioned Chivalry
We promise it isn't dead and boys it is ultimately up to you to keep it alive. Make those small moments count - help her with her jacket, seat her in the chair, get the door for her. These moments go a long way. 

No Phone
Don't check your phone every 10 minutes. If you really want to make this date memorable and only about the two of you, your phone and Facebook notifications can wait. 

Try Something New
When you're getting to know someone, it's important to ask questions, but no one wants to feel like they are in an interview. Make the date fun and find more creative ways to get to know each other than just a sit down dinner filled with questions. 

If you take these tips along with you on your first date, you will make a lasting impression. And remember to always, above all, be a gentleman.

Photograph by Logan Cole

When you work hard to accomplish your goals, do everything in your power to achieve a milestone and earn a leadership position, you have every right to be proud of your successes. However, it’s also just as important to remain gracious and treat your team with the same respect once you have made it to the top. While you’re enjoying the view you so rightly earned, it’s very easy to lose sight of what is right and what is wrong. Here are some ways to stay grounded, no matter how prosperous you are in life.

Show Humility
Taking pride in your accomplishments and pushing for constant achievements are great characteristics to possess. But people admire the leaders whose accomplishments speak for themselves and whose greatest achievements are noted as a result of the success of their team or followers as a whole.

Remember Your Hardworking Team
Being in a leadership position, you have a team you are working with. Sure, in the system of hierarchy, you are on the top tier of the triangle. But if you flip the triangle to be pointed down, and work in the mindset that your team who works with you is just as important to the results of success in your business, you will have a much healthier team. Building your business, no matter what field you’re in, is a team effort; it is not a venture you accomplished on your own. Be thankful for your company’s crew and treat them with the same respect. Take the job seriously but not yourself.

Apply the Same Standards Before Your Big Win
No doubt that serious, focused discipline is what gets the job done effectively and productively. That’s why your business has thrived. But not everyone can go nonstop as a robot all of the time. It’s okay to allow your team members to be humans. They need time to relax, recharge and take breaks. Show your team that they can have fun while they work as well. A little humor and light-hearted celebrations are much needed with your team to make working enjoyable and more successful.

Stay in Contact
It is very important, as you climb the stairs to success, that you do not disconnect yourself from everyone else. Do not lock yourself up in your big, private corner office away from the heart and soul of your hardworking team. Stay involved just as you did in the beginning of your venture and continue that same workmanship. Remember the people you meet on your way up will be the same people you may meet on your way down. Always be kind to those you work with.

After we reach a certain point in our successes, some of us subconsciously subscribe to the belief that we no longer need to work as hard to get what we want, or that we are now better than those around us. By adjusting our expectations, we will stay involved, humble and above all, gracious.

Photograph by Carin Olsson
This article was also published on Darling Magazine