It's easier to be fearless when you are young. The Earth's weight isn't really on your shoulders, you have less to lose, you see the world with wide eyes as it brims with possibilities, and you tackle the unknown with an audacity tempered only by the watchful eyes of your parents. It's almost accepted in society when kids make mistakes because, well, we're kids. This is the time to be selfish. You're not married, or have children who rely on you, you are still at an acceptable age to fall back on your parents if all fails (let's not actually plan for that, but it's nice to know you aren't going to be left to the roaches,) and you have your whole life ahead of you. I think you can be greedy, but not greedy for money - I think that can be a burden - be greedy for an exciting life.

Be brave while you're young because once you get older, your attitude shifts. Reasoning replaces impulsive risk-taking, and what once seemed mysterious and magical appears dangerous in its unfamiliarity. You start to become fearful of leaving the comfort of your habits, worried about losing what you worked so hard to build. Go out while you have the chance, before you get tied down with responsibilities. The longer you push it off, the less likely it is to happen. Too often, we forego opportunities because we are afraid the costs outweigh the benefits. We get stuck. We think about consequences more rather than just taking the leap and making a fearless decision. I am writing this today because, recently, I didn't take a risk in fear of the consequences. And now sitting here alone in my room, I really wish that I had. 

Breaking the pattern doesn’t require heavenly bravery, just the decision to choose faith over fear. To make that decision we must practice, and one of the best ways to practice is to dust off our bucket lists and attempt the feats we’ve always imagined. Conquering these challenges may seem arbitrary, but when we prove to ourselves we can handle the stuff of our craziest dreams, we open up to new possibilities and rekindle our childlike wonder for the world. We can handle anything.

Maybe it’s traveling out of the country, or traveling alone anywhere. Maybe it’s ditching our weekend plans for an impromptu road trip with the one we love. Maybe it’s simply biking to work instead of driving. Maybe its disappointing our parents for a few days to do something for the hell of it, because when will you have another chance to do it again? The nuances of our lists don’t matter; what is important is that we push our boundaries to defy even our own expectations.

Our fears will never disappear. Each day brings new anxieties or the return of old ones, but also new opportunities to overcome them. When we have learned how to let go, we are equipped with the courage to face these day-to-day fears. All you need is a little money in your pocket and a train or plane ticket. All you need is someone on the other end of the map, thinking about the supple curves of your body, to guide you to a home that stretches out for miles and miles on end.

Photograph from Tumblr

If you are lucky enough to begin achieving your dreams on a big scale right away, you may feel incredibly proud of yourself, but you may also begin to feel the pressure of feeling like a little fish in a big pond. You got your dream position, or are working for your dream company in some way. The organization is run by a group of amazing individuals who took the road less traveled and they invented this new way to drive. They’re idea people, well connected and inspiring, drawing excellence from everyone they come by. And they’re not the only ones on the front lines of that cutting edge mindset. They’ve surrounded themselves with a group of innovative, driven 20-somethings eager for a chance to make their mark on the world who are well beyond their years in maturity. And that’s where you come in.

You were chosen to be a part of the team for a reason, so you already have qualities to be proud of. You have the opportunity to learn from the best of the best. Be grateful that you have been thrown in the deep end. Here's a quick guide on learning how to swim. 

Put Yourself in Their Shoes 
Think like your leadership. Learn to anticipate their wants and needs and expectations and worries. Making the effort and taking the time to learn about them with help you not only help you serve them better, but you will also become a stronger individual and more knowledgeable of what is expected from you and them for the sake of the company. 

Come Prepared
Standing in these big shoes, you will begin to understand that the executive work is incredibly busy. Blackberrys and iPhones buzz all day long, your mind is filled to the brim with ideas, concepts and strategies, and efficiency is the name of the game. When you go above and beyond in your preparation, you'll be able to maximize the time you get with these important people and really impress them by demonstrating that you put in the time to really know your stuff. It's also reassurance for them that they hired the right person. 

Ask Good Questions
Ask questions period. Do your research but don't try to pretend that you have all the answers. If you do, instead of demonstrating your competency, you’ll demonstrate your inexperience—and come across as a bit presumptuous (never an endearing trait). So humble yourself. Ask really good questions. Absorb everything like a sponge. Asking questions is not a sign of weakness or an incapability to do a job. First off, you have to be smart in the first place to be able to ask the right questions, and they will begin to appreciate your eagerness and humility and you’ll also learn a lot.

Bring a Notebook and Pen
Whenever there's a meeting, take notes. Not only of what is directly being said, but also everything that is not being said. Listen for non-verbal cues, read their body language and how everyone conducts themselves and most importantly each other. 

Some leaders even like to have a follow-up emails that summarize what was discussed in the meeting and the next steps that need to be taken. That way they know that you understood what they wanted and they know what to look for from you next. You’ll be making their job easier, which makes your job easier!

Know Your Value
You are where you are for a reason. Someone believes in you, sees value in you and wants to help you develop your skills. If you feel like you may have less experience, you do have some experience, even if it’s just in life. So be confident in that. Also realize that you are learning fairly quickly. The first few days are always the hardest. But once you get acquainted with your job, your team and what you are capable of, you will find yourself accomplishing great measures. It just takes time and patience. Everyday you'll grow into your pond and before you know it you'll fit right in. My favorite quote my father has always said to me was "Dreams always come in a size too big, so that we may grow into them." 

Photograph from Nathan Williams

There's not much to complain about when you work from home. Rightfully so, for it can be an incredibly blessed life to live. We get to stay in our pajamas all day, set our own schedule, play our music loud and take as many espresso breaks in between e-mails as we please. Though it really is a lovely life, there is truthfully an art to making it work so you actually get work done. 

For me, working from home can sometimes be really difficult to separate my personal life from business life. It's hard to stay focused and keep myself presentable because I get so comfortable with, well, being comfortable. But most times it can be incredibly productive. 

Here's how to balance it all and get the most work done while staying at home:

Get Ready in the Morning
It is a bit scary how easy it is to catch myself late in the day still in the clothes I slept in, with messy hair and bed unmade. Now I'm not saying to get completely dressed up like you're going out to a special occasion, but a good rule of thumb is to look presentable enough if a neighbor or the mail carrier knocks on your door. My specialty is a comfortable, classy ‘in-between’ clothes like stretchy pants, yoga clothes, or boyfriend jeans and white tees — things that are comfortable enough to sit in at the computer all day, yet styled enough to run to the grocery store or Starbucks. A good rule to have is not to allow yourself to sit down at your desk until you have showered, brushed your teeth, and gotten dressed for the day. I promise it's not silly, rather than felling more tired, comfortable and lazy, it will make your day much more productive and you will feel more ready to take on your work load for the day.

Separate Your Work Life from your Personal Life
Set boundaries in your day for when you take care of work versus doing household errands. Be up front and strict about your work hours (whatever they may be) and try to work when you’ve set aside the time to. This is the only way you can really by productive. 

Get Out
I'd drive myself crazy some days when I'd spend the entire day inside. Though I love working from home, in most cases, cabin fever still creeps up on me. When I lived in my own apartment, I'd spend days, almost weeks, in my room. Occasionally stepping out to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. And I'm sure my roommate was worried for my sanity because she just wouldn't see me for weeks at a time before finally having to just get out. I'd make her come with me to the Yogurtland by USC or to Chick-fil-a, not only step outside and grab something to munch on, but to witness human life forms again....and some attractive ones at that. Thanks USC Student Body. So whatever refreshes your spirt and renews your mind, incorporate these small adventures into breaks during your day. 

Have a Schedule
The night before, prepare a list of things to accomplish for the next day ahead of you. This can be as strict as you prefer. Depending how organized you like to be, you can set time slots for yourself and push yourself to meet your own personal deadlines. What I like to do is set a simple list, usually in the order of which I would like to accomplish them, (sometimes it jumps around,) and rather than putting a time in the day to accomplish that task, I write down about how long it should take for me to complete it. This really helps me stay focused and less distracted.

Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Setting this list can get very easy to become disappointed in yourself when you don't complete a certain task in time or quickly enough. Be flexible with yourself and realize that unexpected life events do happen. If you needed to stay up all night and have to stay in bed till noon, do it. But if you didn't do your work because you were distracted by social media or similar mindless distractions, then you can be disappointed in yourself about the work you didn't complete. Keep yourself on track and only allow your guilty pleasures of mindless entertainment to consume a small and scheduled part of your day. 

Plan Ahead
One thing that will be especially helpful in maintaining a more flexible schedule is to plan ahead as much as you are able to. Not all work situations allow for this, but if you can schedule blog posts, design work or writings in advance, it will give you the room you need to stay flexible during the week for other things.

Whatever your situation, I hope these tips will help you have a happy and productive life at home with both your business and your personal life. It takes great discipline to be a successful while being at home. Just don't get too comfortable and you will make it just fine. 

Photograph by Parker Fitzgerald

The secret to creativity, intelligence and scientific thinking is being able to make connections. Knowledge alone is not useful unless we can make connections between what we know. Connections are our source for creativity and as Steve Jobs has said it: nothing is original. He said 'Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something.' 

In response to yesterday's post, Where Do Ideas Come From? here is a more in depth explanation of how to fuel more creativity and ideas into your thought process. If you can't think of your own ideas, it's okay, you can steal them. 

Author Austin Kleon explains this perfectly. He even has a book, Steal Like An Artist, a book about using the work of others to inspire and inform your own. Honor, study fully and credit those work who you steal ideas from, transform and remix their ideas, and learn from many. 

This basic idea is to think of yourself as a mashup of what you let into your life. Anyone can be creative if they surround themselves with the right influences, play nice, and work hard. 

Creativity is the ideas you take from others, and it's also the connections you make with people and your life experiences. It's everything you take your life to be. Pay attention to the details in your life, and always be curious.  

The secret to being able to make connections with our experiences and knowledge and being able to pour it into our craft is simple: when you connect experiences with the people you meet and the stories you share, you are connecting everything in your life to create new ideas. In order for us to truly create and contribute to the world, we have to be able to connect countless dots, to cross-pollinate ideas from a wealth of disciplines, to combine and recombine these pieces and build on them. 

Our egos also affect our willingness to build on what other have done before. In yesterday's post, I discussed briefly about not letting yourself be sure of everything. Those who think they know it all and want to be confident about their so-called brilliance, they leave no room for learning.  

Connect the experiences you've had and synthesize them with new things. The way to do this is to go out and experience more and think more about the experiences you have had. This is what I live by. In the movie, Stuck In Love, the father tells his children (who want to be writers) that writers are a sum of their experiences. I want to be a writer...or I guess I technically already am; but after hearing that, it made me want to go out and let me self be vulnerable, experience things I would have been afraid to do otherwise, and truly just live life. Exploring, hearing other people's stories and making memories of my own is what fuels my creativity. What will you do to fuel yours?

Photograph by Chris Ozer

I was experiencing a lot of feelings of rejection around this time two weeks ago, but I guess I was too hopeless to sit down and write anything. Now two weeks later, SO much (this is not an over-dramatization) has changed. I mean in every sense of the phrase, my life has radically changed in two weeks. As I went to write a new entry for today, I saw a rough draft for a post titled about rejection and I clicked it, completely forgetting the plans I made for it. I was close to deleting it because I thought it was way over due, as I am no longer having those feelings of rejection, therefore I can no longer write a rejection post. But then I thought my now positive outcome can add a great perspective to compliment the words, because now rather than leaving you feeling more distressed, I can leave you feeling hopeful.

We all have felt these feelings of rejection, because in life we don't always get what we want. Life comes with a lot of 'no's' and rejection. There will always be someone who is bigger, better and brighter than you and they get the things that you wanted. Or the even more frustrating part is when they aren't even better than you and they get that one thing you wanted. You begin to feel miserable and it's degrading. What on earth did you do wrong? Sometimes the feelings of depression come at you and you don't want to feel sad but you just do. Whether you were rejected for a job or rejected in a relationship, the feelings of pain are strong and all consuming. The painful feelings of failure are the strongest when you have given something your all, and you strongly believed that you did everything right, but it ends up falling short. 

I believe that we are all here put on this earth for a purpose. Now, in pursuit of that purpose, I have seen my dream crash to the ground and be discarded. In the last year alone, I have been rejected about five times. After a while, self-doubt forms and depression hits and trying to live my everyday life just became more sad and difficult. I would cry myself to sleep thinking that I wouldn't amount to anything and I wouldn't be accepted by others. That's obviously not healthy, but I think I needed that time to let it all out and express those moments of weaknesses. It was the only way I got stronger. 

In those moments, people become extremely narrow-minded. They no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel and they think they are stuck in a place they have no way of getting out of. They strongly believe there's no solution, so in that place is where they let themselves stay for a long time until it becomes the norm. I'm not going to lie, that's a really hard place to be at. You can have your friends tell you to 'think positive' and you'll hear a lifetime's worth of 'everything's going to work out in the end' but it's not going to matter because you still will not see it. It's okay to feel that way, but I'm here to tell you to persevere till the end. 

The people who have stuck it out, who kept pushing through the difficult times, are the strong ones who make it on top. Everyone goes through this point in their lifetime, but it's the minds who have used it to build their story are the ones who have survived. If you give up completely at this point, it's because you are weak, you probably didn't believe in yourself to begin with or you don't care about yourself enough to pick up the pieces and try again. You can feel sorry for yourself all you want, but it isn't going to make you any better and it surely isn't going to make other people want to invest their time into you. 

I'm really happy I'm no longer in that place, but I'm glad I went through it because it gave me a completely new perspective. In result, great things have happened. If you believe you will achieve greatness, I promise it will happen to you. I have come to learn that you will reach the end goal you have set out for yourself, but you probably will not get there in the way you envisioned. You feel like you know the specific path you need to take to get there, but when that path fails you think your entire goal is gone. However, if you think about working towards your dreams like climbing a spider web, not a ladder, you will have less feelings of discouragement and more optimistic feelings of continuous, persevering work.  

Photograph by Chris Ozer

Dear ex, 

Thank you.

Love, 
Me

"I think we should break up." After hearing that, out of all the responses you could give to the dreaded break-up speech is shrugging your shoulders and saying "Alright...Thank you" is indubitably a rare reaction. And while that may not typically be your initial response when the time with your significant other comes to an end, that doesn't mean it shouldn't be your last conclusion. 

There are two ways to react in this situation: you can begin to cry, fight and beg for him to stay or you can accept the fact that he has made up his mind--because if you have to fight for ways to convince someone to stay, then maybe that's reason enough they should no longer have a significant meaning in your life. 

"Electing a more civilized route—reflecting on the lessons learned throughout the relationship as a whole and arrive at a place of gratitude, instead. For no matter the length or nature of the relationship, that guy was placed in your life for a reason and his presence sought to teach you something as a result. Whether he schooled you about love and its nuances, or more importantly, served to grow you as a woman overall, he deserves a thank you for the part he played in making you a more self-aware version of you."

Still feeling the sting post break-up, you might not be so quick to jump at the opportunity to begin writing thank you letters to the ghosts of boyfriends past. However, it may help to do my favorite thing (make lists) and send a little gratitude their way. Here is my list of ways to appreciate the last relationship for the lessons learned and the self-worth gained, all while having faith on the next person to come. 

Take a day (or a whole week) to experience every emotion.
What you're feeling is completely normal. Don't push down the feelings because in the long run they will scar you. Let all the feelings and emotions out. Whether they are feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, depression or loneliness--let them out. Scream, cry, talk to your friends, listen to Taylor Swift at full blast and eat a bunch of chocolate. Take this time to get it all out and make a promise to never let yourself feel this way again. Don't continually feel sorry for yourself. Take these moments. Get it all out. Move on. 

Once you have collected yourself, make a list of all the positive things from the lost relationship. 
Did he treat you to really fancy restaurants? Did he make school more enjoyable? Did he show you off to all his friends? Did he teach you how to parallel park? Think about all the good memories, all the times he made you smile. 

Now write a list of why it didn't work out. 
Don't bag on the guy, but take a moment to realize the mistakes that were made from both parties. Chances are it wasn't a one sided street. The two reasons why I think this is a good thing to do is because (1) it helps you come to the realization that the relationship wasn't meant to last and (2) you learn and don't repeat the same mistakes when you fall into your next relationship. 

Checklist of negotiables vs. non-negotioables. 
Some people say it's crazy to have a checklist, but I see nothing wrong in knowing what you want in a partner and reassuring it to yourself. My absolute number one rule when making these lists is not to expect something from a guy that you can't provide yourself. I'm not ashamed to admit it--I have a checklist, and it's a checklist of values. This list may or may not be a little long but there is nothing on that list that I can't offer to the other person myself. 

This list should have two sides: negotiables vs. non-negotioables.
It’s essential to make clear in your mind the qualities you will and will not budge on when it comes to choosing your partner. If you absolutely will not date a guy who does not have the same belief system as you, be sure to hold steady on these ideals. While height preference and bone structure can be negotiated, the non-superficial attributes should hold more weight. No man is worth negotiating your principles or even your dreams for. Not a single one. 

Get back to being awesome. 
Make (another) list of all the positive things about you. (Chances are this list is going to be the longest, because you know, you're pretty awesome.) This is a really fun exercise because it makes you realize all the great stuff you have going for yourself. You have a lot to bring to the table and after making this list your thought process of the break-up literally go from "What did I do wrong?" and "There's something wrong with me, I'm not enough" to going to "What is wrong with him for not seeing what was right in front of him...I'm awesome!" If you have a hard time with this list ask your friends what they truly think about you! You might be surprised how much love is surrounding you! 

Get back on track with your awesomeness whether it's doing great at school or being amazing at your job or starting a new project with your friend and put all of your energy into these positive things.  

Don’t let this particular heartbreak allow you to become hardened to the possibility of love in the future. You're a Disney princess who is just currently in the sad part of her feature film! It's going to end well. And remember: when a relationship is over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower. 

Photograph by Amanda Tipton

When you were first starting out in your career, you had those feelings of excitement and you were full of ambition and had a strong drive to succeed. But once you have been working for a few years, and after you have accomplished a majority of your goals, it may be hard to keep pushing yourself to achieve more because you feel you hit your peak. Here are a few ways to stay motivated even after you achieved many successes. 

Look Back to Look Forward
To help give you perspective of the opportunities you should take now is by first looking back. After you have lived your life, looking back, you begin to reflect on past experiences and may start to feel regrets for the things you didn't do. This perspective will help bring to light the dreams you wanted to pursue, and they may not be too late to try again and move forward with.

Learn New Skills
No matter how long you have been focusing on your craft, you will never stop learning as you continue along, come across new people, and watch as the industry continues to develop over time. It is also never too late to pick up on some new skills and completely change your perspective on work. Taking your expertise and expanding your skill set will help you to see opportunities that lie dormant in your world.

Focus on Your Actions
Remember that life happens when you're in action. So even if you are unsure of the next steps you should take, by trying something new, even if you're not sure of the outcome, you may discover a new interest by accident. Challenge your fear for taking a risk by action. You'll not only raise your self-esteem, but you will expand your comfort zone and feel motivated again.

Photograph by Michael Pollak

Live a life you'd be envious of if you saw someone else living it. We constantly compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's shining final cut and often times jealousy takes over and we don't see our own lives as miraculous. 
               
                         “Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.”— Iyanla Vanzant.

I once read in a book that human beings have three dimensions: how you see yourself, how others see you and how you want others to see you. There can be great distance between these three, and the more distance between the three dimensions, the more at war you are with yourself. 

I have always wanted the chance to see myself through someone else's eyes. And as time goes on you will learn that everyone sees you differently and in different lights; depending on how they see and feel about themselves is honestly how they judge you. But I want to look at myself through someone else's point of view. When you observe others, you pick up on their habits, their mannerisms become more prominent, you notice their tone and you analyze their end result because you are not a witness to the inside of their minds. It's more difficult, I think, to evaluate yourself because you are going through the process, and you have been staring at it the whole time that you don't see your flaws. But they are apparent to others because they don't understand your process. I wonder what my mannerisms are and how others see me. How do you evaluate my end results? Are they just satisfactory or are they exceptional? 

However, no matter the internal struggle, you have to believe in the power you have within yourself and make sure you love your own behind-the-scenes just as much as others love your shining final cut. "If you look at the people who are constantly achieving their goals, you start to realize that it's not the end results or achievements that make them different. It's their commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice, not the individual event. What's funny is that this focus on the process is what will allow you to enjoy the results anyway…”— James Clear, Quora, "How to Stay Focused When You Get Bored Working."

Whenever I am going through a difficult time, like rejection, and I'm wishing to be the person who could get over it and move on, I  tell myself to be that person. Instead of waiting to be 'inspired' by someone else and being jealous that they're living the life I wish I had, I tell myself not to wait for the moment to start being the woman I want to be. If you wish to be the individual who worked harder for that opportunity, moved on from the guy who forgot you, made a correspondence with future business connections, or was happier with their life and enjoyed every moment, then just be that person. "Think, if I have the energy to wish for it, I have the energy to do it.” Just do it; decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to be? Decide and make it happen. 

Photograph from Tumblr

Selecting your thoughts determine your life. It's not the events that happen to you, it's how you respond to them. The power of your thoughts control your emotions. By selecting your thoughts, and by choosing which emotional feelings you release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your life. You determine the effects that you will have upon others and the nature of the experiences you will have throughout your life.  Our thoughts about the things that happen to us have an impact on how we feel and how we act. Not just the big events in life but even the small, everyday affairs. But our way of thinking isn't always so obvious to us, or accurate and understanding. So how do you select your thoughts? 

For starters, there is the ABC method:
Learn how to untangle our thoughts, feelings and actions. Dr Albert Ellis, one of the founders of cognitive behavioural therapy, developed the A-B-C model, which is a useful way of separating your thoughts out. A is the Activating Event, or thing that happened; B is the Belief, or the thoughts that immediately run through our head; and C is for Consequences, or the emotions we feel and how we react as a result.

Here's an example of the how the same event can impact how we feel and behave and how different minds and attitudes react to both : The Activating Event is that you are working hard to meet a fast approaching deadline, and your boss has asked you twice this week about how it's going and to give you friendly reminders. 

Harry's thought process is:
(B)elief--"She thinks I'm not capable of completing this job, I'm not working fast enough, I should have finished this by now and sent it to her. I can't do anything on my own that she has to continually check up on me."
(C)onsequence--Feels stressed and worried. Isn't able to concentrate on the project, self-confidence goes out the window and continues to make unnecessary mistakes. 

Mary's thought process is:
(B)elief--I know this is an important project, I'm glad that she keeps checking in to make sure I have everything covered. She is so supportive and cares so much about her job and mine as well.
(C)onsequence--Feels reassured and calm. Continues to work on project and ensures it's perfect before it's sent to her boss. 

It's easy to believe that when bad things happen, it's the event itself that is making us feel the way that we do. Most people don't realize that a simple shift in their emotions can change their entire day and life. Sometimes we can think a situation is actually much worse than it seems and that response to a 'negative' event can drive stronger emotions and reactions. We then begin to fall into patterns and become accustomed to this way of thinking and this can be detrimental to our happiness not only in that moment but for a lifetime. Become skilled at recognizing your thoughts in response to things that happen to you. If they really are negative events that you endure, I'm not saying to brush them off just to be happier and positive. Look at the situation for what it truly is, understand the consequences and what caused those actions to happen. You then have two options to proceed with: dwell on the negative and let it eat you up or let it drive you to work that much harder to prove that you're better than the event that you experienced. If we can become skilled at recognizing our thoughts in response to the things that happen and knowing when these are inaccurate, we can become better at managing our emotional responses and choosing  the appropriate reactions. 

Photograph by Josh and Meg