"Loving someone you don't see every day is not a bad thing.
It's just proof that love is not in sight, but it is felt in the heart."
It is not surprising that a large amount of couples who go their separate ways whether to different cities, states, or countries to pursue their own goals and dreams as individuals either break it off before they leave, not wanting to even attempt to make it work; or collectively decide to end it because it is too difficult to continue. It's as if all the time, effort, and love put into the relationship before the distance came into play is not a strong enough foundation for the bond between them to last. So rather than take the hard road and put forth the tremendous effort to make the relationship work despite the miles between them, they chose to take the easier road and just give up. This is not to say that every long-distance relationship is meant to last, but on the other hand not every long-distance relationship is meant to fail.
No matter if there are 100 miles or 100,000 miles distance between two loved ones, long-distance relationships are difficult, lonely, and a tremendous amount of work--but they can be worth every single minute of the separation in the end. All the trials, heartache, and late night skype dates can bring a couple closer together creating a stronger bond and deeper love. It's because of the challenges long-distance couples face that can make their relationship stronger. Challenges that other couples who are closer may never encounter. It takes a dedicated couple to push past these challenges and believe that the relationship is worth fighting for. After all, distance is a test to see how far love can travel.
The relationship is as only as strong as the individuals involved are, if one does not put the same effort as the other than it could led to a distance between them that has nothing to do with miles that can cause heartbreak and pain for both. Long distance relationships are not for the selfish and they are not for those who give up when things become too difficult. Only strong individuals can withstand the hardships and make the relationship last. Both must be willing to give as much as they get and then give a little more in order to make up for the distance.
They must be willing to have unwavering trust in each other, without trust there is no foundation for the relationship to build. If there is mistrust from either individual, then resentment and doubt can build clouding the love and creating negative tension that can break them. It means trusting wholeheartedly in everything that each individual says that they are doing and actions they are preforming no matter what. It's trusting that each of them would never do anything to hurt the other or put themselves in a position that they would not be in if the other was present. This kind of trust can be the hardest to have because of past relationships, insecurity, or lack of communication; but it is absolutely necessary to have for a long-distance relationship to succeed.
With this trust comes honesty, if a couple cannot be honest to each other in everything then there is no relationship. The ability to be completely one-hundred percent honest with each other is crucial in every relationship but even more so in long-distance. There is a greater chance for dishonesty because the other is not there to witness or hold them accountable, it relies solely on the individual and can be easier because the threat of the other discovering the truth is far less. If there is no honesty then there is no way to have a strong relationship that will last for years to come.
Tying trust and honesty together is communication. This doesn't necessarily mean calling or texting each other every single minute of every day, but more having an open communication. It is being able to tell the other everything that one could be feeling, thinking, or worrying over; and it's also being able to talk about and listen to all the little everyday things that are going on in each of their lives. It's being able to talk about the hard things so that can be overcome together, while also being able to talk about the trivial things that make the other feel like they are a part of your everyday life without them being there. It's staying on the phone for hours because it makes the distance seem that much shorter, or sending a random "thinking of you" or " missing you" text message just to let the other know that even though they're not there physically they are always still their.
Whether the distance is the next town over or across the globe, the distance separating two people who are genuinely in love can be just a strengthening stepping stone in their journey together. Take it from someone who knows; whether your love is near or far embrace every moment you have together and apart, cherish every conversation the loving and the disagreeing, and look at every challenge as an opportunity to grow and fall more in love because in the end it is worth every second.
Photograph by Coralie