In today’s day and age there is hardly anything women can’t do for themselves. We can earn our own college degrees and hold our own jobs. Today’s women run multi-million dollar companies and even entire countries. When you look at the modern world that way, it’s not such a stretch to believe that the institution of marriage, or finding a life partner, is an outdated and archaic one. So why are we, as educated, independent-thinking women, still searching for love? If we can truly handle ourselves, why is finding love still the end-all-be-all goal for so many of us?
The simplest route to dispel these questions is to understand, firstly, that your life partnership isn’t about any of that. You think that you don’t need a partner because you have your own successful career? Well, that’s not why you needed one to begin with. “Life Partner” is far from being synonymous with “Bread Winner.” Yes, today’s woman can fulfill her own financial needs—but what about the emotional ones?
A common misconception is that having good friends can serve all your emotional needs, but a lover is different. The Police sang a song in the 80’s that went, “Every little thing she does is magic.” Have you ever had somebody think that way about you? Had somebody love and adore every little part of who you are? Your little quirks and habits might annoy your friends, but your partner will find them adorable. In other words, when you start to act like a know-it-all, even your closest friends might roll their eyes, but your lover will laugh and pull you in for a kiss. For this reason, the proper life partner can be essential to finding your self-esteem and self-worth in life.
Another huge benefit of having a loving life partner is the constant support that comes with a healthy relationship. When you have a partner in your life, you never have to face anything on your own. You always have someone willing to listen, give advice, console you, and cheer you on. Admittedly, a friend can provide these things as well. However, when a friend gives these things to you, they are making a sacrifice. When your good friends rush to your side in a time of need, they are putting their lives on hold for you. That’s a beautiful thing, but when a lover is there for you it’s not an interruption in his/her life, because you are an extension of his/herself. When your lover is your life partner, your two lives are genuinely intertwined. Your wellbeing is no different than your lover’s wellbeing. In other words, in the give-and-take of your relationship, no deficit is created when one partner gives to the other. In the eyes of your lover, giving something to you does not cause any level of loss on his part, because your interests are his. And that is the ultimate level of support—a basic human need.
Being the recipient of such a high level of love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. However, the absolute most important reason to find this life partner is so that you can be the giver of this love, as well. When you provide this love and this support to your partner, it is even more beneficial than receiving it. Sharing your love with someone else is the ultimate provision for self-worth. It gives you and your life meaning on an entirely unique level. Once you experience this, it can change the entire focus of your life. This is why people have children. As the popular playground chant goes, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Once you recognize the power of this ability to give and share love, the natural progression is to want to spread it further. It’s that powerful.
In conclusion, finding a partner for your life can make you realize what you are truly worth. It can heal your soul and give you clarity on life. Wouldn’t you say those are some pretty strong reasons to continue the hunt? While humans are becoming increasingly independent in modern times, there are still certain human needs that we simply can not fulfill on our own. The desire to spread and share love is at the top of that list. So stay open to it: wanting to find love doesn’t make you weak—it means you understand the gravity of it.
Photograph by Ben Blood
The simplest route to dispel these questions is to understand, firstly, that your life partnership isn’t about any of that. You think that you don’t need a partner because you have your own successful career? Well, that’s not why you needed one to begin with. “Life Partner” is far from being synonymous with “Bread Winner.” Yes, today’s woman can fulfill her own financial needs—but what about the emotional ones?
A common misconception is that having good friends can serve all your emotional needs, but a lover is different. The Police sang a song in the 80’s that went, “Every little thing she does is magic.” Have you ever had somebody think that way about you? Had somebody love and adore every little part of who you are? Your little quirks and habits might annoy your friends, but your partner will find them adorable. In other words, when you start to act like a know-it-all, even your closest friends might roll their eyes, but your lover will laugh and pull you in for a kiss. For this reason, the proper life partner can be essential to finding your self-esteem and self-worth in life.
Another huge benefit of having a loving life partner is the constant support that comes with a healthy relationship. When you have a partner in your life, you never have to face anything on your own. You always have someone willing to listen, give advice, console you, and cheer you on. Admittedly, a friend can provide these things as well. However, when a friend gives these things to you, they are making a sacrifice. When your good friends rush to your side in a time of need, they are putting their lives on hold for you. That’s a beautiful thing, but when a lover is there for you it’s not an interruption in his/her life, because you are an extension of his/herself. When your lover is your life partner, your two lives are genuinely intertwined. Your wellbeing is no different than your lover’s wellbeing. In other words, in the give-and-take of your relationship, no deficit is created when one partner gives to the other. In the eyes of your lover, giving something to you does not cause any level of loss on his part, because your interests are his. And that is the ultimate level of support—a basic human need.
Being the recipient of such a high level of love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. However, the absolute most important reason to find this life partner is so that you can be the giver of this love, as well. When you provide this love and this support to your partner, it is even more beneficial than receiving it. Sharing your love with someone else is the ultimate provision for self-worth. It gives you and your life meaning on an entirely unique level. Once you experience this, it can change the entire focus of your life. This is why people have children. As the popular playground chant goes, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Once you recognize the power of this ability to give and share love, the natural progression is to want to spread it further. It’s that powerful.
In conclusion, finding a partner for your life can make you realize what you are truly worth. It can heal your soul and give you clarity on life. Wouldn’t you say those are some pretty strong reasons to continue the hunt? While humans are becoming increasingly independent in modern times, there are still certain human needs that we simply can not fulfill on our own. The desire to spread and share love is at the top of that list. So stay open to it: wanting to find love doesn’t make you weak—it means you understand the gravity of it.
Photograph by Ben Blood
| About the Gracious Guest Author Nikki Dror is a stylist and blogger living in Los Angeles. While her primary passion is fashion writing, she believes in the importance of sharing inspired thoughts with the world. | Like the seeds blown off of a dandelion, Nikki never knows where her words will land. Read about her adventures in the fashion industry and get expert style advice on her personal blog, Four-Eleven.net |