Saying to do what makes you happy is something you have heard many times before, but I really can't stress it enough. Go after your dream, even if it goes against everything your parents wanted. If you don't like where you live, move. If you don't like the school you go to, drop out. If your friends aren't there to support you, you don't have to be friends with them anymore. You are in control of your life. No one else is. If you don't see what you want, be the change you'd wish to see, even if it means to take a terrifying risk.
Don't hang out with people who don't love you. Don't try to impress people who aren't worth it. Don't be with people that make you feel less than the person you are destined to become. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way, you have every right to walk away. Cut out the toxic people in your life. It's ok to close the door on the people who tear you down. Only open the door to the people who will build you up. This may be difficult to do at first because there is so much pressure to be accepted and felt like you are part of something. But you shouldn't waste your energy on people who are detrimental to you. And also, when your actual, good friends ask you to hang out, and you don't feel like it, you shouldn't go. Don't do things halfway or things that may make you feel uncomfortable. It's ok to stay at home to be alone.
Alone time is good for the soul. I think it's good to cancel your plans at times, close your bedroom door, turn off your phone, play some music and sing at the top of your lungs. (I will shamelessly admit to doing this on multiple occasions. I have already apologized to my roommate in advance.) Learning to be happy with myself has been one of the best things I have come to experience. At the end of the day, you have to remember that you are the only thing that you will truly have.
I don't want to settle in life or in anything else I involve myself in. That to me, is more frightening than going after an impossible dream. I am so tired of feeling guilty for responsibilities I am not really passionate about. It's such a waste of my time. I have found myself beginning to do things out of guilt and not because I actually have the passion to want to do them. So I'm quitting. I don't think it's being weak and giving up. I also don't consider it running away from life's difficulties. I have options and choices to make, and leaving is one of them. I am choosing to live a life I am proud of and happy with. Not one I have settled for. I don't want to settle for a job I 'have' to do. I don't 'have' to do anything if I don't want to.
A friend of mine recently just left without notice. She left school, her position in her job, and everyone she knew. She just packed her bags and left. At first I thought that was odd. People don't just do that. Then I really began to understand what she did. She's now traveling the world, and doing what she loves; which is creating art. I have never seen someone happier. Then I really started to think: 'What am I still doing here?' If life is meant to be enjoyed, why aren't I truly enjoying it? I'm currently not happy with a few things in my life. So I'm leaving.
Photograph by Luke Sky