“Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.”— Iyanla Vanzant.
I once read in a book that human beings have three dimensions: how you see yourself, how others see you and how you want others to see you. There can be great distance between these three, and the more distance between the three dimensions, the more at war you are with yourself.
I have always wanted the chance to see myself through someone else's eyes. And as time goes on you will learn that everyone sees you differently and in different lights; depending on how they see and feel about themselves is honestly how they judge you. But I want to look at myself through someone else's point of view. When you observe others, you pick up on their habits, their mannerisms become more prominent, you notice their tone and you analyze their end result because you are not a witness to the inside of their minds. It's more difficult, I think, to evaluate yourself because you are going through the process, and you have been staring at it the whole time that you don't see your flaws. But they are apparent to others because they don't understand your process. I wonder what my mannerisms are and how others see me. How do you evaluate my end results? Are they just satisfactory or are they exceptional?
However, no matter the internal struggle, you have to believe in the power you have within yourself and make sure you love your own behind-the-scenes just as much as others love your shining final cut. "If you look at the people who are constantly achieving their goals, you start to realize that it's not the end results or achievements that make them different. It's their commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice, not the individual event. What's funny is that this focus on the process is what will allow you to enjoy the results anyway…”— James Clear, Quora, "How to Stay Focused When You Get Bored Working."
Whenever I am going through a difficult time, like rejection, and I'm wishing to be the person who could get over it and move on, I tell myself to be that person. Instead of waiting to be 'inspired' by someone else and being jealous that they're living the life I wish I had, I tell myself not to wait for the moment to start being the woman I want to be. If you wish to be the individual who worked harder for that opportunity, moved on from the guy who forgot you, made a correspondence with future business connections, or was happier with their life and enjoyed every moment, then just be that person. "Think, if I have the energy to wish for it, I have the energy to do it.” Just do it; decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to be? Decide and make it happen.
Photograph from Tumblr