Remember it is Temporary
Nothing lasts forever. Pain, discomfort, tension, confusing or stress, those are all temporary. Remember that we won't be in college forever. We will eventually graduate, work for a few years and with a little effort and determination, you will find yourself living your dreams. Might as well enjoy the time we are living now, life won't be getting any easier soon. College is meant to be enjoyed. It's unfortunate we struggle the most with personal growth and accepting life events as they come because we think everything that happens to us will be the end of the world.
The way I remind myself is by reminiscing about the young Mariya who was starting high school. How all the things I worried about so desperately, strongly believing my life would end if certain things continued to happen (or not to happen). But you see yourself now and how all those little things didn't really mean anything, you begin to laugh at yourself and wish during that time you didn't take life so seriously and just enjoyed yourself. So now, if I find myself in a situation that makes me upset or stressed, I ask myself, "Will this matter in a year from now?" Most of the time, it won't. Because life moves on and I have plans for myself. If something (or someone) is not included in that plan, there is no need to stress about it.
Adjust Your Expectations
Many of us subconsciously believe that we don't need to work that hard to get what we want, we are usually good about just receiving it. We expect applause or a sort of reward when we have accomplished one of our goals. Take this time to humbly grasp reality. This doesn't mean to be cynical or jaded from the experience, but to turn your focus on things that value importance. Let your dreams be bigger and better, but make sure you understand the process it will take to achieve them.
Remove Your Sense of Entitlement
Entitlement pervades our culture. As our world becomes interconnected, we cling to the expectation that things should be done our way and by our schedule. After that transition from HS to college, you have acquired more knowledge and confidence and you want to start feeling praised for all your accomplishments. Remember to continue to work hard, but to stay humble while continuing to accomplish more. College students seem to have this attitude--we are overconfident and self-assured. Learning how to humbly shed that sticky sense of pride, will help the giving and appreciative attitude shine versus a persistent attitude of deserved success.
Believe in Your Future
At times we are concerned about the unknown. I think that is our biggest worry; are we going to make it? We are still on that journey and sometimes we may get impatient because we have worked so hard already and have been dreaming big for so long. We finally feel ourselves getting so close to the end result but this is where most people start to give up. Looking at the surface we don't see any results yet but they are just beneath the surface, just about ready to break through. But you look at the surface, the results, and they aren't there yet and you start to doubt yourself. But what you missed was almost about to happen but you gave up, and your hard work goes back down.
Believe in your future and never give up. You may not see it now, but put yourself in the state of mind when you were looking back at yourself when you were in high school. Looking back, you see that life moved on and you changed. Same goes to now. Life moves on and you will change, and you will accomplish what you set out for yourself. It just takes a little patience and discipline, but you can't have one without having the other. Learn the art of patience and apply discipline to your thoughts. When you become anxious over the outcome over a goal--do not be impatient as it breeds anxiety fear and discouragement. When you begin to be patient and believe that in time, good things will come to you, you will create confidence, feelings of ease and comfort within yourself that will eventually lead to success.
Photograph by Sati Faulks